Timmy Timmy Timmy Aaja

Who wants to go to Wembley anyway? It’s deffo for the best that we binned off that tinpot trophy to concentrate on the league. Which we are still unbeaten in this year. EIEIEIO……

I was a bit surprised that last Saturday’s game got called off – it felt colder all week in the run up to the Torquay game, but I suppose the cumulative effects of winter are taking their toll on the pitch. It’s finally getting replaced at the end of the season, thankfully, because we now have owners who give a shit. We were kind of pleased though, given that we were missing it to go to the All-Ireland SFC Club final. Dublin is no longer there because we drank it. It was a very close game, which Glen unfortunately lost 1-9 to 1-11. The game was mired in controversy, though, as Kilmacud ended up with two extra players on the pitch at the end as Glen were taking a 45 (kind of like a corner), which they nearly scored from. It’s not for me to say whether they made an honest mistake while making subs, or whether Kilmacud are cheating bastards and the shitbags at the GAA need to order a replay.

The ground staff – who are going to have their work cut out in February, when we’ve got 4 home games in a fortnight – did well to get the game vs York on three days later, much to the delight of Greater Manchester Police, who coined in the overtime and issued a statement saying they were “aware that this fixture may attract some tensions and a small minority of supporters may seek to get involved in violence and anti-social behaviour”. Really, lads? At Oldham v York? On a freezing Tuesday night in January in the mizzle? Apparently, it was because there was some bother at the away fixture. Which was on August Bank Holiday Monday. A day of the year that tends to lend itself to alcohol-fuelled disorder a little bit more than January 24th.

The first half was pretty scrappy, and Norman and the defence had slightly more to do than I would have liked, but we looked reasonably solid and comfortable. I didn’t feel that we were looking quite threatening enough up front, so I went for a slash, and sure enough, we hit York on the counter-attack after Norman made a good save, won a free-kick, their keeper spilled Fondop’s header, and Yarney – who looked very assured at the other end of the pitch – poked the rebound home. YOU’RE ALL FUCKING WELCOME.

We continued to have the better of the game in the second half; so much so, that Fondop attempted a scorpion kick that went wide, bless him. York put us under pressure midway through the half as we started to tire, and we clearly needed fresh legs. There are few fresher legs than those of Timmy Abraham, and when he came on (along with John Rooney) for the last 15 minutes, he made an instant impact. York’s number 3 kindly watched Jordan Clarke’s pass sail right past him, not realising that Abraham was sprinting on to it, and he coolly put it past the keeper. Tory Dave was in the toilet for that one. The Boundary Park Alert System Podcast. Pissing for victory.

I’m not sure how I feel about Rooney attempting to chip the keeper from well inside our half, weeks after he comprehensively failed to chip the keeper from the penalty spot. The final minutes were a bit nervier than they should have been – don’t take a free kick quickly in injury time when you’re winning FFS! – but Norman continued to be impassable, we managed to close the game out and secure back-to-back league wins. Thank fuck.

(Darren, if you’re reading, and I’m sure you are – T-shirts in the club shop with Norman as Gandalf saying ‘YOU SHALL NOT PASS’. Thank me later. Oh and get some red wine in the Rocky bar. Ta.)

To those saying we shouldn’t be too pleased about the win because York ‘gifted’ us the goals: keepers have been spilling the balls and defenders have been making howlers against us in this bag of shite league all season. And they will continue to do so. We weren’t taking advantage of the opposition making mistakes against us previously because we weren’t confident enough or aggressive enough. Teams would give us the ball, we’d do nothing with it, we’d give it away, they’d jog through our midfield unchallenged, and we’d concede a soft goal. We’re allowed to be happy that we didn’t do that and kept a clean sheet against York.

Fair play to Unsworth for making a point of sending Ebbrell to do the post-match presser; top bantz and excellent shithousery of the good kind. He was rightly pleased, saying it was our best start-to-finish match so far at home, but also stressed “We’re not getting carried away, it’s one game”. He singled out Yarney’s commanding performance for praise, and also applauded Mark Shelton’s ‘outstanding, solid’ debut. Not bad for someone who once missed a game because he got a cotton bud stuck down his ear.

Things are starting to look up. We’re looking more confident and solid, and there’s a nice little gap starting to open up between us and the relegation places. I very much hope it continues. Have a good day if you’re travelling to Aldershot today. Is Aldershot still a barracks town? Are you still likely to get your head kicked in if you act the dickhead? Looking in your direction, OASIS. Safe journey, and, as always, KTMFF.

Written by Arlene Finnigan. Photo © Luke Reynolds.